An interesting thing happened today.
I was meeting a friend for lunch at a cafe downtown. He didn’t show up.
So I finished my coffee and headed out to shop for some shoes. I’m a runner but more a walker these days - working during the day while walking at my treadmill desk.
I found what I was looking for in the local “paca” - a store that sells used stuff, mostly from the US and shipped down to Nicaragua. 12 bucks, almost brand new pair of Hokas. Like walking on clouds.
I then headed back to my car and who should lately appear? My friend, Bert. Late, held up. He eyed up my find, my Hokas. His eyes glistened. I asked him what size he was. “10”, he said. I was holding a pair of size 10. So I asked him if he wanted them. He didn’t hesitate, he said, “Hell, yes.” And that was that.
Now to be open and honest. I WANTED those shoes. Beautiful. Perfect. But I resisted this urge.
So why do I tell you this story?
Because it illustrates something it took me so long to learn. There is more benefit in giving than keeping. I’ve had a great day. It feels good to give, to provide, to be of use - outside the normal confines of money and “what does it do for me?”. Altruism.
Anthropologists note that our success as a species may well hinge on the fact that we are social beings, we help each other without receiving any benefit. Charity.
But in a strange way, we do benefit from giving without receiving. Paying it forward, isn’t the right phrase. It is just doing the right thing.
We keep what we give. We need more of this in the world.
In my teaching, I’ve always got so much more from the “giving” of myself in this most humane endeavor than what I gave away in time, energy. My moral growth, my relationship with my self, my feeling part of this grand waff of energy we call life, the universe.
So, fight your natural selfishness. Don’t try to add up costs and benefits. Do. Do because it is the right thing and you’ll be enriching your inner coffers.
Start today. Keep what you give away.
Bert’s “new” shoes
My treadmill desk