When I was a young man, my dear Mom gave me a little plaque for my birthday. About 6 inches by 6 inches. For years I brought it around the world with me and from its little hook would hang it on a wall as a reminder. It was a Henry David Thoreau quote.
Now a few words about my mother and probably by way of genes, about me. My mother loved to find just the right words to say. She would spend hours and hours scouring greeting cards for every sort of occasion - each had to have just the right thing to say to her dear one. She sought “le greeting card juste”. Sister, friends, grandchildren, children, sons, daughters …. everyone got the perfect card from my mother. She always had a stack somewhere in the house, ready for the right occasion and person. And with this small gift of words to me, my mother again, got the message right.
Love me or hate me, I’ve always tried to fly with the wind of freedom - freedom being the liberty to be my own person, to live expansively and curiously. Not to succumb to the rhythms of culture and convention - just because. No. To follow the rhythms of my own heart and passions. To live to not have many regrets, as much as possible.
And I think I’ve achieved that and I give thanks to my mother and her little push way back then. Also, Thoreau. He gets a little credit too.
It’s not easy to step to the music YOU hear but it can be done. Security, safety is a built-in default switch for us animals. And so when the heart’s drummer says X and you are already comfortable in Y, it takes some courage, a surge of will, to follow your heart. But do so, one should, all things being equal.
I hope all of us will allow this same gift of freedom to our own children. Not making them into an idol figurine of ourselves or our wishes, wants for them. Rather, allowing them to follow their heart’s wishes and giving them that special gift through support and encouragement. That to me is what a great parent is.
And you are never too old to bend low, cock your ear to one side and hear that drumbeat telling you where you must go next, who you must become now.
Taoist ideogram
There is a movement
that doesn’t move.
There is a wind
that is still.
There is black
that dresses in white.
There is a yes
that means no.
A stop sign
that says go.
An earth
that is a grain of sand.
A boy
that has always been a man.
A death
that always lives.
A thing outside us
unknown
that always gives.
What makes anything right?
That
I, I undying in this necessary fight
can do what I wish
in travail, in delight.