Birth Of A Conspiracy Theorist
The fantastical. There are things that happen in our lives that turn us into believers. And not any physical law, legal argument or dictionary definition will change that.
'What is admirable about the fantastic is that there is no longer anything fantastic: there is only the real.' Andre Breton.
I was in university,
it was summer time
and hot as hell.
My money was running low.
I rented a fancy townhouse
far beyond my budget
from a rich Indian couple.
She was busy saving souls and
the husband was
the head of gynecology at
the district hospital.
They’d often drop by
with fresh naan and butter chicken
fresh smiles and regal clothes.
That day
the missis saw my beaten up
pickup from work,
Raith Ready-Mix
parked out front
and asked,
actually saying,
”May I inquire?”
She asked if I wanted to
make a hundred bucks
and transport some
antique furniture
up north to Owen Sound
their summer cottage?
Yes. (Hell yes, I said inside)
And next morning
me and my roommate
picked up
a couch and a few chairs,
tied them down and
set off on a few hours drive north.
We were busy sweating
and imagining what we’d
buy at the liquor store with
the extra money when
”ping” … a high pitched sound
rang out and I
looked in the rearview
seeing a flash of something
fly through the air.
It was a busy two-lane highway
and it took awhile to
pull over and turn around.
Driving back
we were sweating bullets
thinking how we’d
explain the broken furniture
or the traffic accident we’d caused.
As we got close,
cars coming the other way,
we could see the regal chair
standing on all fours
dead center of the highway.
Like it had been born and
had grown up there.
We jumped out and slowed traffic
collecting the antique.
Hell, not a scratch. Not one.
Looked as brand new as
a strong old thing
can look.
We loaded it up again
and tied down the load
more secure
than the first time.
Back home, that evening
we drank our cheap wine
and laughed about the miracle
on highway 6.
It was that day
I finally understood
how little we know
regarding the mysteries of
this still evolving universe.
Newton knew some
but there is a whole lot more to
figure out,
that’s for sure.
…………………………………………………………………………
Seems of late, been writing lots about chairs. If you liked this little story, you might like this recent one about a chair I found on a river bank.
What an interesting story about a chair.