Getting Back Up On That Horse
We all have our crosses and we all have stuffed suffering that we must face.
Today, I climbed up Apante again. First time in quite a while, over a year. I used to do it each day, just beautiful nature, wind, views, exercise, “being”. It’s far above Matagalpa and its big cross looks over the whole valley.
I needed to do it. I used to go with my best friend, Marshmallow, almost every day and since his death, just couldn’t do it. I basically, even on my bike, wouldn’t even venture near that side of town. My wife would bring Viernes up there but I just couldn’t stomach it.
It was a gorgeous day. We had a great time. Amazing view as always. Right when you get to the top, suddenly a huge gail, a forceful wind hits you. And you know you’ve arrived at the cross.
“You can wander so far, everywhere is home”
I hope others out there who have a secret suffering, can bring themselves to push through, get through, and maybe not totally get over that suffering but at least begin the healing process.
During my hikes, half runs, half walks with Marshmallow, I would meditate in my own way - saying poems of Li Po or Tu Fu or Basho in my head, as I pushed through the trails up to the top. Upon returning to the house, I’d take out Rexroth’s, 100 Poems From The Chinese and I’d open it up and write my own. I wrote right in the same book, directly.
I’m working on that book, sorting those poems/thoughts. I’ll share it soon.
Enlightenment
Every morning
the dog and I
walk up the mountain
to the cross.
He never refuses.
He never asks why.
He never rejects fate.
He walks
with no dreams of arrival,
lapping at the streams
we cross.
He has embraced
the mountain.
He has learned that
enlightenment
absorbs all and
does not give off
any reflection.