I was reminded of a story from my own life recently while watching a discussion on TV. The “intellectuals” were talking about progress and a la Stephen “apologist” Pinker, elaborating on all the progress mankind has made in just the last 200 years. Fast cars, going to the moon, the green revolution feeding a planet, the internet allowing us to connect to the whole world instantly, longer lifespans, better pills keeping us healthy. And on, and bloody on and on …
Ok. My story.
I was in a checkout line. In my 20s. Hustling to stay alive, buy mac n’ cheese and run a national record, get the next workout in. Ahead of me was a middle-aged lady. Regular sort, buying canned tomatoes and ground beef. We kept waiting and waiting and waiting. The line wasn’t moving. Soon enough, news passed down the line what the holdup was. Seems a guy was paying with his fancy new “swipe” card. Just a swipe and off you go! Well, something went arye and the system was down.
The woman turned to me and said, in a trite tone, “That’s progress for ya.”. I replied without thinking, “There is no progress except that of the human heart.”
I still remember that clearly. The words came out like I hadn’t thought them, nor spoken them. They just appeared out of the ether, like the phrase “a thought came to me”. They came from somewhere beyond.
And through my whole adventurous life since - I still believe them to be true. So true. We live blindly, ignoring our own mortality, our own insignificance. And that comes at a big cost.
From a biological point of view, we aren’t all the more significant or enduring than lima beans or armadillos. - Sheldon Solomon
Or a safety pin, if I may be so blunt.
The cost of our both personal and social hubris is the erosion and eventual destruction of our own soul as we detach ourselves from the nature of things, the world we live and are enmeshed in. The cost of this unbearable lightness of being is the destruction of our planet, our own killing of each other, our own consumption to compensate for our fears.
What good does it do a man if he gains the world but loses his own soul? - Matthew 16:26
Remember Icarus, full of hubris, flying up to touch the sun. We do so at our own peril.
Finish the sentence - I live so that I may … Be really honest with yourself. It’s a great exercise of self-effacement.
There is no right answer but I do like that of Meister Eckhardt.
I live so that I may live.
Unfinished
Now that I have taught
my tongue
to speak what is in
my heart.
I now must find
the one who will listen.
Now that I have looked
long enough
to finally see.
I now must find
the one who will understand.
Now that I have walked
this valley
and reached the
mountaintop.
I now must find
the place I started from.
Now that I have learned
to love
and
to lay down my arms.
I now must find
the one who I can hold on to.
Now that I have drank up
life's bounty
and eaten my fill.
I now must find
the will to feed others.
Your life, my life, his life
is never finished
merely abandoned.
Know what you do not know
and you will complete
the circle
and stand where
you've always stood.