Last Words

The power of words, especially our last words.

This beautiful, true story told by the “sparkling” Benjamin Zander (he’s one helluva presenter, so positive, contagious!) has an important lesson for us all.

I phone my elderly mother every day or almost every day. Even if I don’t have much new to relay, I do so because I know it could be our last time speaking to each other. That’s life, she’s fragile and it’s the way it is.

My mother always, always, even in her youth, would finish speaking to us kids and sign off with her last words, “Love You”. When I was young, I tired of it. Words said so often seem to lose their weight and measure. However, now, I see the point, her point and agree with her steadfastness. I try to leave people with last words that might stand the test of time.

“Words make nothing happen. They survive.” - W.H. Auden.

In the story Zander relates, the power of words is revealed. Words still do matter - despite the attempt of LLMs to make words into mere random, utilitarian, hollow, token units of meaning. As a poet, I’ll die on that sword - that words, in the beginning and in the end, are very important. My mother also always said, “Be careful what you say!”. True. Loose tongues sink ships but spitful tongues doest disturb a whole universe.

The story has so many meanings for me;

1. Kindness. I was in Kyiv, February, the year 2000. Sitting on the cold street was a babushka (old woman), begging. I passed by and then thought better, returning to put some money in her basket. She looked up and gave me a beautiful smile that warmed my heart all day. Then she put her head back down and pulled her dirty wool hat tighter. The following week, better weather, I passed by the same spot outside Lev Tolstoya station. I felt a tap on my back and there she was this tiny old lady. She handed me something in a plastic bag and waved good-bye. In the bag was a fountain pen and a little note that said (in Russian), “It doesn’t cost a kopeck to be kind.” The pen never worked but I kept it many, many years on my desk.

2. Parting ways. So many people in my life that I’ve parted ways with - and feeling now the regret of how we left things. I’m going to make an effort to amend this and leave with words between us that might keep even this indifferent universe happy and better. Who do you have to have better “last words” with?

3. Teaching. I was informed so much in my own teaching by comedians, what they advised about working an audience and interacting with people. I don’t know which comedian it was but I picked by the idea that it is much more important how you leave a person, an audience, than how you begin. I’m a big fan of last impressions over first ones. In class, I made into a ritual, always asking my students if they were happy, when they left class. One by one. Even if they weren’t, just them saying so, leaving on a “high” note, was a way to infuse contentment into their usually troubled day.

   

4. Last words. I won’t have any big epitaph or famous last words that will be memorable. What will be yours? My own if I have to imagine my last words, would be something like -

ALREADY?

Say What You Want To Say.

Say what you need to say
There is no time left, to wait.
Go out into the streets, forget their hate.
Say what you need to say,
Your heart can’t wait.

When they tell you to go shut up.
When they tell you to go home
When they tell you to be a good little boy or girl,
When they tell you go play on your phone,
When they smirk and lie and churl
Raise your voice and be heard, you are not alone.
Say what you want to say.

Teach your tongue to speak
what is in your heart.
Say what you want to say -
loud, soft, fast, bad or in part.
It doesn’t matter how, just say it any way
just say it, say what you want to say.

They don’t want your honest views.
They’ll then always lose.
They don’t want the truth you choose.
They’ll then just get confused.
The only way their evil wins is if
You just hunker and go away.

But no.
Say what you want to say.
It’s your one life and live it straight away.
Say what you want to say
Evil can only be defeated when with it you don’t play.

Go out into the street, don’t let silence reign.
Go out into the markeplaces and have your say
Go out into the public spaces and make it plain
That you’re always going to - say what you want to say.