I’ve been hacking away at my novel. Yitzhak the coffin maker.
“Hacking” is a good word for what good writing must necessarily be. A writer chops away at the undergrowth, to reveal the core understanding, the core meaning of our few allotted years and rugged spirit here on this planet.
I often look up at my photo of Henry Miller. I’ve brought it along on many of my sojourns in foreign countries. I set it by my desk and find some solace through it. Feet up, at home with my books, content, not happy. Here, at home in this world.
Once you have enough food for your belly and some shelter over your head - the real work to be done is to find a “place” for you to be at home in this world.
It isn’t happiness we should search for. Miller would be the first to decry our constant desire to be “happy”. That’s not the thing to which we should point our compass. Happiness often is the denial of our own suffering, an ignoring of it. We cover up our pain, we look for distraction and then believe we are “happy” in our bad marriage, our addictions, our so sure ideological pillows.
No, I don’t want happiness. What I do want and think everyone should search for is a little of what I wrote about previously here - I’m looking for discovery. A place to feel alive, connected to the energy, the random, life-giving energy of this world. It is somehow keeping your inner fire burning, somehow finding the teat of mother universe and being nourished by it.
I think Henry said it better than I ever could. Here’s an excerpt from one of his journals. Let’s live in this vein or life will be in vain. Put ourselves out there, at home in this world of wonders. Using our life for good, in the name of the good - not our own greedy happiness.
Happiness Is …
Happiness? What’s that?
A full stomach. A short memory.
Two coins jingling a song in the pocket.
Yeah, that’s it.
Happiness not the thing but
EXPECTING
not the finger but the ring,
the living not here but there
POSTPONING
reality always disappointing the nervy hare.
…….
Who wants that any “way”?
Let me sleep in this hay
smelling death, where I lay.
Here I do, get things done
living as living comes.
Slow, I capture reality.
………
Happiness that shiny bead
not for me.
I prefer to do — unnoticed lead
not content with content
but to be what’s meant
even if that not be
a full stomach,
coins jingalingalinging.
Thanks for sharing David!
This is a beautiful piece of writing. The one sentence that struck a chord with me was: “Let’s live life in vein or life will be in vain.” So true!!!
Hi David,
This is beautifully written. The sentence that struck a chord with me: Let’s live life in vein or life will be in vain. This is so true!
Thanks for sharing!