It’s that time of year. People resolve to do stuff. You know, lose weight, be kinder, save money, drink less, quit smoking or vaping … yadda yadda yadda.
Now, I’m not against these types of resolutions per se - just the fact that they usually fail. And the cause of the failure is resident in the resolution itself. Let me briefly explain.
I believe that if you truly want to change, not just get a jolt of endorphin from the thought of changing … if you truly want to change you must not focus on the object you pursue. All personal change is indirect. Go at it head-on and you’ll most likely fail. Why? Well, we have strong biological impulses that will fight us and our mere thought of changing something, will activate the thought of the habit itself and keep us not doing it. We inadvertently reinforce our existing framework. We are creatures so high-wired for stasis. Biology is very conservative.
A man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for? - Robert Browning.
So I’m advising you to make resolutions that are a little “out there”. That way, they will indirectly make the change you really want. For example, you want to quit vaping. Ok. Take up knitting and knit for 4 hours a day. Join a knitting group. Your hands and mind will be busy, you’ll meet people who aren’t vaping. You’ll change. Pretty soon, you’ll see you are vaping less. But the key in all this is not to think of NOT VAPING. The goal is not the goal. Ok, bad example but I hope you see my point.
He who knows the Buddha, does not know the Buddha.
Good luck and wish you all the best this coming year. One day at a time, a year is made.
I resolve
I resolve
to wear more purple
and not to pull up my socks
should they fall,
to eat more strawberries
in the sun, one after one.
I resolve
to look more closely,
at the smaller things
buttons, spiders, dandelion dust, wedding rings,
to sit more on swings.
I resolve
to stay longer in bed awake
and think and dream
about a boat I want but
will never make.
I resolve
to kiss my gal a little longer
to make love stronger,
more often pull her in,
to always, in all things, in spirit
begin, being …..
I resolve
to play with children,
like one of them,
and collect fire trucks,
and climb trees
and get my knees green again.
I resolve
to tell my mother I love her
a thousand times, all at once,
and tell her she did well
thought all can so very well tell.
I resolve
to think of the good every day
and in suffering
know what I may
not be otherwise,
each of us a crooked surprise.
I resolve
to look in that little fish’s eye,
the next time she’s hooked,
to ask for more soup
and look where others haven’t looked.
I resolve
to look up more skirts
to sword fight with willow sticks
to spread my peanut butter just a little more thick
to burn, forget, the length of my wet wick.
I resolve
to lick my dog back
and to take a crack,
at what I’ve never dreamed,
to believe and pass by
all things that I’ve only seemed.
I resolve
to have my cake and eat it too
but if others need,
bread ‘ll have to do.
I resolve
to do what needs to be done
even if they don’t see the good.
I resolve
to buy myself more flowers
and to pick more wild ones
- the scraggly beauty of my love’s
luscious hair,
to sit by streams
waiting for the gull on the rock
fishing
to be there.
I resolve
to listen to more of life’s honest
on and off, up and down,
to lose myself in rhythm
and in that strange way
be found.
I resolve
to suck longer on fresh peaches
to not see the ugliness in leeches
to go wherever my will reaches
and getting there,
eat my bread in joy,
drink my wine in peace
for this day will never
come again,
just like this new year
will never again
ask when.