Death makes us all ignorant and a little better.
I've written a lot about death, it seems. I just did a search and a lot came up. I guess death is the thinker's and poet's playfield - death, that great question mark in our mind's sky ...
I've almost died a few times but never ever felt like I was going to die.
Almost dying is about as close to a drug as you can get - so long as it happens quick. You know, when you almost step into the street and then a big bus zooms by. And you say to yourself, "Wow, my number was almost up."
And then, the day opens up. No more worries for a few hours, it's all free money, free time, extra. Hell, you were almost dead anyways, right?
But then it is back to the here and now. Reality dominates us, and keeps us confined in her automatic cages.
Growing up on a farm, you see and deal with a lot of death. But that doesn't mean you'll ever understand it. Watching an animal die before you, whether it is your pet or something you just killed - you don't get used to it. It's sacred and for you alone to interpret, filter, deal with ... When it comes to death, we are as alone as we'll ever be, ever get.
The first time I ever saw a dead person was in Bastia, Corsica. I was driving back to Switzerland and then on to where I was teaching, Karlovy Vary, Czech Republic. It was early September, summer was over and I had some time to kill (pun intended), needing to wait for the ferry's departure. This is something I wrote on the boat thereafter.
My First Death Experience
I was 36
and had just parked the car
when I heard the
bang bang bang.
I thought nothing of it.
Kids, firecrackers
an old car backfiring,
common sounds in this part
of the world.
I walked a couple of blocks
in search of souvenirs
and came upon a couple
hovering over a body
on the sidewalk
sprawled out like Jesus Christ.
I leaned in and said,
"He's dead."
Don't know why I said that?
But I know a dead man
when I sees one.
Knowledge of death
is central to a poet's
job description.
Strange.
I'll never think of
firecrackers
the same way
again.
September 9th, 1998, Ile de Beaute, Corsica, France.