Yesterday, I continued with my exploration of the islands of south, South Korea. Places, few get, even Koreans. It’s a blessed part of the country, where the continent breaks off slowly into parts and into the big wide sea. I also continue with the exploration of my own self. It’s the reason I sit on my bike for hours, I’m digging, digging for some jewel.
I cycled to near the southernmost point of S.Korea in Haenam county (so beautiful, mountains and sea) and around Wando island. Stopping off for a walk to Guado Island with its magnificent suspension bridges. Not many people down in this part of Korea. Happily, no bike problems. As my wife said, I’d of been out of luck, if I had had a mechanical problem. *** Footnote - Haenam does have double the birthrate of S.Korea. Go figure.
Heading back north through Gangjin and home to Mokpo, the high humidity of the day caught up with me. I went through what I call optimistically, a period of “gladly suffering”. Everything hurts and you go into a state of numbness and even confusion. 200k into a day ride will do that to anyone.
So, I was riding along, cursing even the fact of my own existence. Not even dreams of beer and cake once home, could improve my mood, suffering. AND THEN, I looked out onto the fields of gold on either side of me, seeing the people working there, bent over, pulling at the plants. I smiled. What a suffering fool am I!? Instantly, I saw my own mood as misplaced. I was able to put my suffering onto a yardstick. And in placing it, measuring it, it disappeared.
And that is the proper orientation we should all take towards suffering, our travails and struggles during our lifetime. Measure it with a yardstick called gratitude. Realize that your suffering is in a big part (and I’m not talking about situations of chronic pain, illness, torture … - that’s another topic) on a sliding scale that shifts depending on your empathy and ability to let gratitude into your heart.
I got home and watched a movie while the numbness of the ride and humidity’s toll on my body wore off. The Duke. It’s a fun watch but nothing serious. However, I did take away one nice thought, along the lines of my own bike driven thoughts. The bumbling, aging protaganist of the movie, charged with stealing a famous work of art says, he did it because - “You are me. I am you.” It’s a thought I’m partial towards.
You see, I think “where we’ve got it wrong” is in our fundamental belief that we are all isolated blotches of individual “material” in the pursuit of our own self-interests. You name the interest, there is a book about it and a career made on it. We just want money, commodities, love, understanding, food, security, you name it … But that is so wrong.
The “self-interest” theory suggests that it is an innate characteristic of all animals, all humans. Much research suggests otherwise and we might think of self-interest as more of a red herring. It’s a symptom and result, of some deeper problem, not the cause.
I put this video clip together recently, where Edward Abbey talks about this problem - “how we’ve got it wrong”. It’s a revealing and profound short listen/watch.
He comes to the same conclusion in a round-about different way. What’s wrong is our self-interest. It is destroying the world. There is no conspiracy, it is just a culture, monoculture of self-interest pushed along by the forces of time. Community has disappeared, there is no longer any thought of the communities’ true interest. Just platitudes. It’s all, “What’s mine? Or, where can I get some? The countryside has emptied and we remain strangers burrowed in hollow cities. Lewis Mumford might have said this …
Back to my ride. Gratitude is the door where we enter into communion with each other and see like I did those in the field, as oneself. Gratitude can be created through suffering but it is much better if sustained through daily habit. There but for the sake of X, Y and Z, go I. It is also the only way to enter out of our emotional suffering that eats away at us inside.
I have no answers other than to seek that door of gratitude, in whichever way you can. It’s the only door you need to find while here on earth. And the key to unlocking that door is to see how insignificant you are BUT how so important you are to the whole fabric and existence of everything.
Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there. The outward man is the swinging door; the inner man is the still hinge. - Meister Eckhart
On Suffering & Gratitude