The 7 Simple Sins Of Beer Drinkers
I’ve been a beer drinker for a long time. Sat in many a pub and bar watching other beer drinkers (as closet intellectuals so often do —…
I’ve been a beer drinker for a long time. Sat in many a pub and bar watching other beer drinkers (as closet intellectuals so often do — sit and watch and think the world). I’ve downed, supped, gulped, guzzled, drank beer on all continents save Antarctica and I have found some curious sins that have long gone unnoticed and unpunished. I am going to put a stop to that.
Here are the 7 sins of beer drinkers that I think we should rail against and even I hope (if there is a god) send said drinkers committing the sins into a firy warm ale hell.
REDUNDANCY
Asking for a cold beer.SOLIPSISM
The thought that “I’m not drunk, everyone else is.”ARITHMOMANIA
Counting your beers consumed. Always knowing how many you’ve had.ABSOLUTISM
When ordering, always using the phrase, “This is my last beer.” and making sure all hear it.FAMILIARIA
Going to the loo after each beer (excluding those with true incontinence).OBSEQUIOUSNESS
Sipping one’s beer like one might a fine mescal or bourbon.MODIFIMANIA
They describe the taste, the essence of their beer with more than one adjective. “It’s a refreshing, dense, balanced, richly hopped, floral tasting, frothy IPA.”
How many sins have you committed?
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