The Cycle Of Life
For everything there is a season, A time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. Ecclesiastes 3:1-8
Full disclosure. I’m not religious in the traditional sense but as a young man, full of poetry, ideas, rebellion, questions - I considered entering divinity school. Even went to an interview in Halifax. I often wonder what would have happened if I’d begun to swim in those waters …
At that point in my life, I was intense about finding answers to deep questions of being and purpose. I haven’t had them answered but I’m still sniffing.
I was reading and devouring many philosophic and religious works but my favorite was Hinduism and the Upanishads and especially the poem, Bhagavad Gita which expressed many of the ideas of the Upanishads.
Indeed, the saving truth has never been preached by the Buddha, seeing that one has to realize it within oneself. He who knows the Buddha, does not know the Buddha.
- Sutralamhara
Central to Hinduism is the idea of Samsara - the cycle/circle of life. Born, live, die, rebirth. And within that “live” part is the idea we pass through 4 stages - the Ashramas.
Preparation. Learning. The Student (Brahmacharya). We learn about life and prepare ourselves for entry into society. We lay a foundation for the future.
Nurturing. Community. The Householder (Grihastha). In this stage, we form bonds, we nest, love, bond, marriage, children. We enter society as a full member and live a life productively working for and adding to our community.
Retirement. Spiritual Practice. The Wise One (Vanaprashta). We retreat from society and go in search of spiritual wisdom and liberation. We think more about the world, our role and our purpose.
Now, I think I’ve gone through these stages. And I’m right now considering the 4th stage - renunciation of the world (Sannyasa). It is somewhat like the Buddhist idea of the Boddhisatva - reaching for Buddhahood. It isn’t commonly done in our day and age - even by practicing Hindus.
It entails one detaching from the wider world. Living a simple life, a life of solitude after you’ve filled all your social duties and obligations. A time of monasticism and even asceticism - self-discipline even self-mortification. All in the name of breaking the cycle of samsara, the endless circle of birth and rebirth.
I don’t know if I have the courage for this next step. I’m just existing and being and allowing the larger truer forces of life to do their thing and “show me the way”. It might be as simple as a cabin far away on the banks of Lake Baikal or a return to our farm in the N. of Ontario. Or maybe spending the rest of my blessed days on earth, on my bike. No home. Just the day and night as my bed and covers.
Not by the slothful, nor the fool, the undiscerning, is that Nirvana to be reached, which is the untying of all knots. - Iti-vuttaka
Let’s see. There is a time and season for all things. Inshallah.
A Confession
How much longer
can I get away with this?
Scribbling in notebooks
mornings of endless coffees
lost in half worlds of thought
looking out the window
at the security guys
standing 12 hours a day
sucking on cigs and thumbing
their phones.
How much longer
can I get away with this?
Henry Miller sits
framed on my desk
at his desk feet up
getting away with it
him in Santa Monica
me, under the volcano
Antigua, Guatemala.
There’s Brahms
coming out of the speaker
and the keyboard waits
like an obedient dog.
“I’ll get to the work tomorrow”
There are more thoughts to
attend to
more dancing in my head
and I’m planning
my next novel – how novel!
How much longer
can I get away with this?
Walking through the world
like I own it.
Schlepping from kitchen table
to poker table to excel tables
always hungover and
in love with
the mere fact I’m here
that I’m standing
with nothing really to do
except
get away with it.