Loneliness. Despite being fortunate to never experience it myself, I do know it exists. It’s real and millions are experiencing it right now. The pandemic has only exacerbated the condition.
Loneliness I believe is not about being alone. Rather, it is about feeling estranged from life itself. Not being meaningful. It is, I think, a form of depression with serious consequences over time.
“The most terrible poverty is loneliness, that feeling of being unloved.”
― Mother Teresa
When one feels lonely, one aches for human connection, companionship, understanding and warmth. We idealize that as “being with other people”. But it isn’t the lack of other people that is the problem. It’s that feeling itself that is the problem - one may be lonely among people. One may not have human connection, meaning, fulfillment while among other people.
So how to end the terror of loneliness?
I’m not one for a silver bullet. We are all unique, we all need our own solutions to the challenges that face us. Not a one-size-fits-all.
However, try a few things. Here are some of them.
Get friendly with yourself. You can find meaning within. That’s one solution and often loneliness arises because we don’t have a positive relationship with our own identity, our own self. “If you are lonely being alone, you are in bad company.” - Jean-Paul Satre.
Practice relating to “things”. Become part of the world instead of an observer of it. Loneliness can often be our inability to relate to the world around us, a kind of cowering from the world. Look at the clouds, the wind on your cheeks, the wall in front of you. Allow yourself to have a relationship with these things, the world around you. Slow down and smell the roses, listen, really listen to some music.
Risk more. Often (though not always) loneliness is our own fault. We don’t take a chance to do things outside what we’ve become used to. Get out of your rut. Go to a new place, a crowded place. Smile more at others. Put yourself in different situations. Often the normal is the cause of our estrangement.
Just a few thoughts about this - for all the lonely people out there. Most importantly, know as fact - YOU ARE NEVER ALONE. We are at bottom, scientifically, just energy. Our energy is sent into the world and returns. It touches all - and all touches us. Read up on the Hindu philosophy of Tat Tvam Asi - Thou Art That. You truly can never be alone if you see the world as it truly is.
To All The Lonely
To all the lonely people out there tonight.
You are not alone.
Embrace the darkness.
You’ll see the light.
Every little thing
that crawls, that feels, that sings
that squirms, that is, that was
that walks, that feeds, the bleeds,
every little thing is needed
nor nothing may be.
We are all just travelers
on a road that goes nowhere.
We are all just travelers,
walk with me somewhere.
To all the lonely people out there tonight.
You are not alone.
These words between us
nobody, no thing can own.